Can't Go Back
by SheWhomLaughsLast
Summary: Full summary inside! Xena and Gabrielle have started a family in the quiet country side...in Canada 2010. Sent to future with the gift of immortality until the day they are needed home again. But with a third child on the way, how can they go back?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **

**Xena and Gabrielle have started a family in the Canadian country side in the year 2010. Sent there by Eli, the two warriors were only supposed to remain in hiding, with the gift of immortality, until the day they were needed in their own time again. But seven years is a long time to wait. With a third child on the way, Xena and Gabrielle are nowhere near ready when Eli sends a friend to bring them back. How will Xena and Gabrielle part with their family? Can the two women save their world and their children? Or will a choice need to be made?**

**Chapter 1**

_**Gabrielle**_

I ran. Through the tall grass, around the patches of daisies and leapt over the small creek. I could hear the foot steps behind me; they were faster than mine but lighter. I could feel my heart pound in my chest as I push harder, trying to escape the hand reaching for me. I could do this. I careened hard, pushing my feet into the soft earth in an attempt to change directions, throwing the chaser off so I could place more distance between us. My breath comes in gasps and my feet move faster. I can hear another set of footsteps joining the chase and I now am desperate to make it back.

I clutch the scarf in one hand; holding onto it for dear life. I'm tired and out of breath and they're getting closer. I can see salvation, just mere feet from where I am when the weight of a body hits me hard. I'm sent to the ground with the person on top of me adding enough momentum to send the both of us skidding through the vegetation. The wind is knocked out of my lungs and my head is throbbing like my brain was trying to punch a hole through my skull. The other person is still on top of me. I still clutch the scarf in my free hand.

The second one stops and looks down at me, confusion and worry crossing her features as the boy on me coughs a few times before pushing himself up to look me at me. I'm still trying to breathe.

"Mom?" he waves a hand in front of my face "Mommy?" I cough a couple times as he looks over to the tall dark haired woman, I can feel the fear coming from him through the tensing of his muscles. "I think I killed Mommy!" He almost wailed and I wrapped my free arm around my son tightly and couldn't help but laugh at the misguided concern. Xena just shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Way to scare the crap out of him Gabrielle." She gazed out across the small meadow, looking for someone.

"Alicia!" I called out, noticing the marking tree for the border and how my hand just managed to pass it. "Alicia we win!" suddenly a small, dirty-blonde girl popped out of the tall grass and came fumbling towards us in true four-year-old style.

"Do not!" the boy argued, getting off of me and standing by Xena, his longish darker coloured locks pushing in front of his face, his ice blue eyes full of challenge. Xena rolled her eyes again

"Eli, please. Can we not start a fight right now? It's nearly almost time for you and your sister to go to bed." The boy grumbled as Alicia walked up and hugged Xena's leg before looking down at me

"Why is Mommy on the ground?" I smiled and let my head fall back to the soft grass, feeling the warm sunset heat my skin. Two strong hands grasped my arms and pulled me from the ground and into a hug.

"Because Mommy's tired." She said, her arms around me tight. I felt myself melt into her embrace like butter on a hot pan. "And we're all going to go home and get a good night's sleep." I smiled against her skin. For the kids a good night's sleep meant going to bed. For Xena and I…it had a whole different meaning.

Xena and I had gotten here a while ago. And by "here" I mean the twenty-first century and by "a while ago" I mean roughly seven years. We were sent here to keep us "safe" until we were needed again back home. We hadn't aged since we arrived and there's been nothing to tell us we have to go back since then. Originally we were only supposed to wait here. We were supposed to just be idle until the day we were needed again, for what I still am not sure. But things...happened. Xena and I started a family. We weren't married. We felt that we didn't need anything to bind us together; we were soul mates, I would stay with her until the day I died and beyond. We found ourselves in the Canadian country side and we settled, feeling like we would be more accepted here than anywhere else. Maybe it sounds foolish to think that. But it's true.

Once Xena and I had found out that we could have children without having to actually use a man we, well, figured why not? We loved each other, we wanted a family. And with the added fact that I could have Xena's child and she could have mine it was a done deal. Though we were a little hesitant at first, seeing as we both had lost our children before; my daughter was the bringer of darkness who killed Xena's son, but we moved past that. The only exception was Eve, Xena's daughter, who was the messenger of Eli, the Devi not my son. The pain is still there but it's dulled by the new life we brought into the world. Xena carried Alicia, the oldest, I carried Eli, the youngest.

"Xena?" I whispered gently as we walked together, hand in hand but our arms pressed against each other. Alicia and Eli were playing tag while we walked. "What will happen when we have to leave?" I asked, looking at our children jumping and bouncing around. They were so full of joy and happiness it made my heart sing and a smile creep across my face.

That question always bothered me, what would happen if Xena and I had to leave. If we had to go back to where we came from. Where would Eli and Alicia go? I knew there would be no way that we could bring them with us. It would be impossible, not to mention exceedingly dangerous considering all the laws and law enforcement we have here doesn't exist. We could leave them with someone here, one of our friends, but then we'd have to explain everything.

"I don't know" she whispered and stopped me, turning my body to face her, her hands gently placed on my shoulders. "Let's not worry about that now. If, one day, the time should come we'll handle it then alright?" I nodded, not trusting my voice at that moment. She pulled me in and kissed my forehead before we continued walking again.

"Eli! Eli we don't have time for this!" Xena yelled searching our house for the small boy "You have to take a bath! Eli!" She growled and looked over to me where I was dressing Alicia, getting her ready for bed. "Gabrielle your turn" she muttered as I got up and she kneeled down in front of our oldest child, taking a towel and trying to dry her just-washed hair.

"Eli" I called out carefully looking around corners "Eli, I know you don't like having bathes but we all got to do things to keep ourselves healthy and clean." This was something we went through every night when it came to bed time. Alicia would go willingly but there was only a certain time frame she'd be passive for. After that she'd get fidgety and annoyed at which point Xena and I could never win. Eli refused to bathe. He'd kick and scream or he would cry the entire time. Sometimes he'd go willingly, but only if we bribed him or he felt guilty for something.

"I don't have to do anything I don't wanna do!" His voice whined from somewhere in the dining room. I was careful not to make a noise as I walked around the small room.

"Really?"

"Yup!"

"Well, I guess that I don't have to wash the clothes anymore, and Momma doesn't have to go to work. Which of course would mean that you and your sister wouldn't get anymore toys..which means all you'd get for your birthday is a rock and maybe a straw doll." He grunted, in what sounded like defeat, and climbed out from under the table. I smiled and ruffled his hair as she walked past me. Threatening to take away toys from Eli worked every time he had one of these fits. "Momma's waiting in the bathroom." I called after him as he disappeared around the corner.

"ugh" Xena groan and flopped down on the bed beside me, her hair and clothes dry in some places and completely drenched in others. I smirked and looked at her from where I was writing in my note book.

"Tough time with Eli?" I asked and she just pushed herself up on to her elbows

"How exactly is it that a boy named after the most peaceful man I've ever known could be so...so..."

"difficult?" She groaned again.

"Must be your genes." She muttered, I just stared at her.

"Oh please! You have enough stubbornness to supply the entire world's population, let alone single a child." She narrowed her eyes and crawled up so her face was only a few inches from mine, her fingers wandered to the hem of my shirt.

"Do I now?" she purred in my ear and I smiled slightly.

"Yes, yes you do." The tip of her nose just barely brushed my ear and instinctually I turned my head in her direction, eyes closed. I could feel her breath caressing the skin along my jaw, her lips gently pressed under my chin. "Xena" I breathed

"Uh huh"

"The kids aren't asleep yet."

"They won't hear us" she wrapped one arm around my waist.

"You're sure?" I asked, a knowing smirk on my face and I could almost see her roll her eyes

"Positive."

"Three" I counted and she yielded her assault on me

"Oh no, no don't start counting" she begged

"Two"

"Gabrielle!"

"One"

"MOMMA! Eli's scaring me!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!" I opened my eyes to see Xena flopped down with her head in the pillows

"It's not fair!" her muffled cry made me giggle

"Go on Xena." I said and shoved her off the bed playfully. "The children await." She lumbered out of the room and I rolled over onto my side. As soon as Xena had left the room, I felt the sudden over whelming amount of emotions I generally kept in check burst out of my control. The things I kept bottled up stung my eyes and materialized on my cheeks.

_**Xena**_

After wrestling with the kids for a good ten minutes I walked back to the bedroom only to stop in the doorway. Gabrielle's small form shook with silent sobs from where she laid with her back facing me. I leaned against the doorway. She did this sometimes, but never when she thought I'd see or know she did it. And I knew better than to ask her. She'd insist she was just being stupid and emotional. But I knew her better than that. She never cried without a reason. Within a second, I crossed the room and crouched in front of her, taking her hands in mine. She opened her wet eyes and looked at me, surprise crossing her features for a brief moment

"Hey," I breathed, brushing a tear from her cheek. "What's wrong Gabrielle?" I asked gently, caressing her face with the back of my fingers. She sniffled once and wiped at her eyes, seeming embarrassed that she'd been crying. Or that I'd caught her.

"I miss home" she said in a ragged voice, placing her hand over mine and interlacing our fingers. "God, how can I miss home when I am home?" she asked looking at the ceiling.

"Because we aren't home. There's no place for a warrior here. Or a bard." I added and brushed a small piece of short hair from her eyes with a slight smile. "believe it or not Gabrielle" I said softly, tracing intricate patterns on her snow white skin "You're not the only one who's home sick." I kissed each of her knuckles individually before she gently cupped my face in her hand

"We'll be alright…right?" I smiled slightly and nodded

"We'll be fine" I promised and rolled over her onto my side of the bed. She instantly rolled over and rested her head on my chest. I wrapped one arm around her gently and kissed the top of her head. "I love you" I whispered into her hair and she laid an arm across my waist

"I love you too" she murmured softly, nuzzling into my baggy T-shirt. We laid in silence for a few moments before two very quiet voices came from our door.

"Mommy?"

"Momma?" Gabrielle and I both looked up, spotting Eli and Alicia standing in the door way. Their ruffled hair had made it obvious that they'd both been trying to sleep. Gabrielle looked up at me with a smile and I smiled back before waving them in. They climbed easily on to the high king sized bed and snuggled up in between us; Eli's back to my front and Alicia's back to Gabrielle's front. We'd done this a million times before. Gabrielle's and my arms crossing over each other as we snuggled our children, our eyes locked together as we gently ran our finger tips over the other's skin. I leaned over the two small bodies between us, careful not to wake them, and gently placed a soft kiss on her lips.

We would be just fine. We had to be.


	2. I Wanna Have Your Baby

_**A/N:**_

**For all the mothers out there reading my story, sorry if I got some of the facts in the flashback wrong (You'll know what I'm talkin' about when you get there) seeing as I am only in high school I've never had children before so I based it off of what I've seen on TV and in movies…as sad as that is. **

**Chapter 2**

_**Gabrielle**_

Our sleeping positions were in a mess. Eli had somehow turned ninety degrees and now laid across both Xena and I, clasping my hand against his cheek. Alicia laid across her brother, her head by our feet and her small arms wrapped around Xena's leg and mine. Xena's head was resting under my chin and her arm was draped lazily across me. I groaned slightly and carefully turned my head to check the time. Nine thirty. I closed my eyes only to snap them open again. Oh crap. I nudged Xena who muttered incoherently.

"Xena" I hissed, most of my limbs trapped by my children

"What?" She asked and snuggled more against my skin.

"It's nine thirty"

"so?" I rolled my eyes in exasperation

"Career day" I whispered and this time she woke up. She looked at the kids trapping us and, in true Xena form yelled

"Kids!" they both looked up, looking groggy "Battle positions!" Their eyes widened and they both launched out of bed, full throttle out the door and downstairs. I groaned, I hated it when she did this.

"Xena…" I whined "I wished you'd give me some warning before you did that" They were going to make a huge mess before I had the chance to play referee.

"Yeah, well" she rolled over and pecked me on the lips "You should give me more warning before you wake me up" and with that she leapt clear out of arm reach and danced down the hall and into the bathroom. I was about to go brush my teeth when a loud crash echoed from downstairs.

"Eli!" Alicia whined

"Oops."

I groaned and flopped back onto the bed. Xena's dead meat.

"Ok come on!" Xena yelled carrying Alicia by her waist in one arm, school books in the other with her small teddy-bear shaped backpack thrown on her shoulder. I followed her outside our small farm house, Eli hitched on my hip, the baby bag slung over my shoulder and a banana in my free hand.

"Mornin' Nightingale-Hunter family!" Xena and I both froze on our way to our beat down pick-up truck and turned. Crap.

"Oh, uh, hi Rob, Marsha" Xena said to our very quote unquote 'high class' neighbors, the Noxwells.

"Off somewhere in a hurry?" the middle aged man asked, wearing his sweater vest and slacks. His hair was perfectly brushed and his shoes shined. Marsha, his MUCH younger wife, wore a blouse and a skirt from a business suit along with a short little scarf around her neck. They were nice enough…but they didn't know how to keep their ideas about parenting to themselves. Even though they had no children.

"Career day at the school house" I answered, and quickly made my way to the truck to place Eli in his booster seat.

"Well that's nice" Marsha said, placing one hand on her hip

"Yes and we really have to go" Xena said and I glanced at my watch: nine-forty-five. We had ten minutes to make it all the way to the school house. I took Alicia from Xena and made my way to the opposite side of the truck, placing her in her seat as well.

"might I make a suggestion?" Rob asked as Xena was turning away. She stopped, a forced smile appearing on her face. I quickly peeled the banana and split it in half. After giving the two pieces to the kids I stood next to Xena as Rob explained that we should really take time to get our kids ready half an hour before school. Xena's eyes were unfocused, clearly zoned out as the man droned on about things he had no idea about.

"That's really great Rob" I said, clasping Xena's arm and cutting Rob off mid sentence. Xena jarred awake from her daydream and focused on me. "But we really should be going" I yanked Xena away and threw her into the driver's seat. After I leapt into my side, Xena threw it into reverse and swung out of the drive way and onto the dirt road. She threw it into drive and took off down the road. Eli and Alicia threw their hands in the air like they were on a rollercoaster. Xena was fuming

"Who the—" she censored herself "Does he think he is! He doesn't even have children of his own!" I sighed

"I know Xena, I know" She always got like this when Rob gave us advice. The entire presence he gave off, like we were bad parents rubbed her the wrong way. Completely understandable, I had the same feelings when someone questioned our ability as parents. Though I generally had a better way to express it; through words instead of fists. "Have some patients" and, as usual, Xena didn't hear me.

"He thinks he's so great just because he's a 'world famous historian'" she scoffed "Oh please, I made history." I rolled my eyes and looked up as we pulled into the school's parking lot. Well, more accurately it was a field in front of a single roomed school house. A wide field stretched out far next to the small building. Xena pushed open her door the same time I did. We simultaneously unbuckled our children and lifted them out and grabbed their things. In reality, it was really only Alicia who was actually attending school. Eli had to come because Xena and I had both been…volunteered by Alicia to participate in career day. It was rare for someone out here to do something other than owning a general store or working on a farm. I was a writer. I'd written several novels and revised historical events I'd been there for. Xena owned a dojo in town. A small place where she taught pretty much anyone who wanted to learn self-defense, for a small fee of course.

"Let's just get this over and done with alright?" I put one hand on Xena's shoulder and urged her inside along with me. I handed Alicia her backpack and she ran ahead into the school. Xena hitched Eli higher up onto her hip and followed after the spunky little girl who danced in circles by the entrance. I lugged the baby bag after them. This was the first year for career day at the school. It was suggested by one of the kid's uncle. A really prissy guy who, much like our just WONDERFUL neighbor, was a world class historian. We all knew that he only suggested it to have a chance to gloat about how fabulously successful he was. His nephew, Evan, was a sweet kid, one of Eli's and Alicia's friends.

"Hello parents!" The teacher began as we entered the room. Alicia slid into the seat beside Evan, the smaller boy with short brown hair and freckles. I placed Eli's bag beside the door and joined Xena where all the parents sat in the back of the room until it was our turn to get up and present. "Welcome to the first ever career day at Green Fields school house." We all clapped in acknowledgement. "I'd like to thank all the parents who could make it today for taking the time to share your careers with the children." Another round of applause. "First up we have…" she paused, checking her clip board "Ms. Hunter" Xena looked up and the rest of the parents groaned. It would be kind of hard to follow Xena's career with one of a general store owner or farmer.

The last name choice was one really of impulse. Xena had wanted something powerful, I wanted something soft and peaceful. So Nightingale-Hunter became our last names.

Xena shifted our half asleep son into my lap and rose from her seat. I wrapped my arms around Eli's waist and he rested his small head against my chest. Awkwardly, she stood in front of the class of children, a wary smile on her face.

_**Xena**_

I was really never one for public speaking. I mean REALLY never. I cleared my throat nervously and forced out my best smile

"Uh…hi…" I focused on Alicia who watched me intently. Sadly, it really did nothing to help my nerves. Her eyes were honed on me as if every breath I breathed was being seared into her memory. "My name is Xena, I'm Alicia's mother, and I own the Lao Ma Dojo next to the doctors…" I rasped my fingers against the podium. Gabrielle gave me an encouraging nod and I continued. "I teach self defense classes." I finished simply. Gabrielle shook her head slightly with a small smirk on her face. "Any questions?" all hands shot up. The teacher laughed nervously

"We only have time for four questions for Ms. Hunter." The students became even more anxious to have their questions answered. I pointed to the older boy in the back row of the class.

"have you ever killed anyone?" I felt my blood boil as I realized who this kid was. Buddy, A sixteen-year old twerp who'd dedicated his miserable life to making my kids lives hell. His father, the homophobic bastard, wasn't from around here. And by around here I mean he came from someplace where it's ok to be a complete bigoted asshole to anyone he wanted. I rolled my neck and tried to relax

"Yes" I said simply and turned to the next child near the front, a small little girl with auburn locks. She opened her mouth to speak when Buddy cut her off.

"So you've used your self-defense techniques to hurt others." It was a statement rather than a question. I narrowed my eyes at him and leaned forward against the podium. Half of the children shrank back while the others looked anywhere but me.

"If you want to ask anything further on the subject, I suggest you talk to me later." I turned back to the girl "Sorry sweetie, go ahead." She sat back up in her seat as my eyes softened.

"how long have you trained?" I smiled slightly to myself

"a long, long time." I pointed to a boy in the middle of the class

"Can you teach me to fight?" He asked and I leaned back against the chalk board.

"Well, I could. But I think you'd better clear it with your mother first." I jerked my chin towards the cross looking woman at the back of the class. A few giggles broke out. A pencil flew at me out of nowhere from the very back row. I caught it easily before it hit my face and glared daggers at Buddy, who avoided my eyes.

"erm…thank you Ms. Hunter" a quiet round of applause ensued and I gripped the pencil with such strength that it snapped in my hand. Calmly, I retook my place beside Gabrielle.

"You handled that well." She commented sarcastically, noting the remains in my hand. She cradled the sleeping Eli against her and I gently stroked his cheek with the back of my fingers. I could remember his birth like it was yesterday…

_I walk into the kitchen in the late afternoon, the fire place casts a warm light through the house. And there she stood in her loose, peach sundress. Her short hair is tied back with a long bandana that reaches half way down her back. Her large round stomach is bulging, but beautiful at the same time. Just knowing that my child was inside of her, growing and preparing to join us in the waking world, was enough to make me happy for the rest of my life. _

"_Xena" she calls, extending a hand towards me, beckoning me quickly. I rush to her and she places my hand against her stomach. A strong kick nudges my palm. She smiles at me, a look of pure child-like wonder crosses her features. I can feel my own energy radiating from my skin. _

"_He's strong" I comment and she slaps my arm, mouth gaping with disbelief. _

"_Xena!" she whines "I told you I wanted the gender to be a surprise!" I smile bashfully at her and she returns it with a hint of playful annoyance and turns back to the stove._

"_What's for dinner?" I ask, wrapping my arms around her waist and cradling her stomach. She leans back into my embrace. _

"_food" she says coyly. I can practically see the smirk on her face. I kiss her cheek and break away as I hear Alicia cry from the bedroom. _

"_I'm coming, I'm coming" I sigh and take the stairs two at a time. _

"_Where are you going?" I ask groggily as I feel Gabrielle's weight leave the bed. _

"_I'm thirsty" she says simply, pushing herself from the mattress and onto her feet. _

"_Have some of my water" I say and roll over, then notice the glass is empty. She gives me a 'yeah, ok' look and takes it from me. _

"_I'll be back in a few minutes." I grumble complaints that she easily brushes off and continues down the stairs. I rolled myself up in the blanket, cold from the lack of body heat Gabrielle was providing. I'm trying to get back asleep when I heard the crash. The shattering of glass splits the silence of the night and the small moan that followed launched me out of bed. I bolt down the stairs in my sports bra and boxer. In the kitchen I found Gabrielle leaning over, gripping the counter with one hand and her other arm wrapped around her stomach._

"_Gabrielle?" I ask, looking around carefully, in case something has frightened her. "Are you alright?"_

_She laughed breathlessly "yeah, I'm fi—" She keeled over hard, a heavy gasp/moan broke through her lips as her legs buckled. I catch her before she hits the ground. Carefully avoiding the glass she'd broken, I drag her by her torso towards the sink. I lower her slowly to the ground so she could lean against the cupboard while I filled a pot with water. "Xena" she whimpers quietly, her fingers clenched against the ground. _

"_I'm right here." I said and then realize what I'm doing. I don't have to do this! We have a car! And a clinic! "I'll be right back" I say and run to the door. My intention is to go out and start the car, warm it up before getting Gabrielle and Alicia out there. But when I pull it open, I'm met with a heavy wall of snow, almost up to my stomach. It must have snowed three feet since I went to bed. I groan. Son of a…I shut the door. Ok, plan B. I run back into the kitchen and turn the stove back on. _

"_It hurts" My blonde says in a pained whisper. I crouch beside her. _

"_I know Gabrielle" I sit beside her and pull her to me gently, between my legs so her back is resting against my front. She rests her head against my shoulder. "It'll pass. I promise" _

"_You know…what…I've realized?" Gabrielle pants as she falls back against me, sweat making her skin slick. Ignoring the aching in my fingers after Gabrielle crushed them during the last contraction, I dabbed at her forehead with a warm damp cloth. _

"_What?" She laughs slightly, using my bent knees as arm rests. I run my fingers through her soaked hair, trying to help her relax in the very short breaks she had. _

"_You and I have only given birth in the most unethical situations." She smiles up at me and I smile back down at her. I'd given birth to Alicia in an abandoned barn after my water broke during a walk Gabrielle and I were on. Not to mention the birth of Hope, Solan and Eve. She leans back against my chest, her breathing becoming more labored as she relaxes. The pressure points I'd hit only a few moments before must have started taking effect. Because, ever so slowly, she begins to fall into a very shallow sleep. _

"_Have I told you how much I love you?" I ask gently as Gabrielle drops her head back against the cupboard. I'd taken position in front of her as her contractions got worse and worse and closer together. She looks at me, her eyes an intense mix of agony and exhaustion. Her fingers are clenching mine tightly. "You're almost there Gabrielle" I promise her, "Come on Gabrielle" I coax her._

"_I can't" She whimpers "It hurts too much" _

"_Push!"_

"_Xena, please…"_

"_Gabrielle, push!" I yell. She lets out a strangled cry and crushes the fingers of my left hand. Soon enough, her cries are accompanied by screams of the bright red baby in my arms. "You did it Gabrielle" I say, staring at the little boy-my little boy- in my arms. He was so beautiful that tears of joy forced their way from my eyes violently. As if they wanted to see him too. I grabbed a clean dish cloth from the drawer and wrapped his small body in it. _

"_Xena…" She said as I sat next to her, holding our child out to her. "He's beautiful…"she breathes, her eyes glowing with pride and mirror my look of happiness. She takes him from me, her touches so gentle it's as if she thinks he'll break like antique china. _

"_Have you thought of a name?" I ask and she looks at the infant cradled in her arms. Then suddenly, in a decisive tone says_

"_Eli."_

"Xena" Gabrielle's voice jerked me back to the present. She leaned the limp child into my body as she rose to take her turn up at the front. Apparently I'd missed two presentations while off in my own world. I wrapped my arms around his midsection and nodded to Gabrielle that I had Eli. She walked smoothly up to the front of the room, feeling exceedingly confident in her ability to speak in front of people. Bloody bard talent. A couple of sleaze balls stare at her ass as she passes them and I grit my teeth. If this wasn't a school house full of children…

"Hello" Gabrielle began "My name is Gabrielle, Alicia's mom, and I'm a published novelist. I've written for the news paper and I've also revised historical events" a hand shot up "Yes?"

"What kind of events?"

"Mostly Greek. Like the assassination of Caesar, I can translate the writing found on ancient scrolls." HER scrolls to be exact.

"Have you helped historians?"

"As a matter of fact," said a rather pompous looking man by the door "she has." Gabrielle slapped on a smile but I could see the 'aw crap' look cross her face before she had the chance to cover it. It was Evan's Uncle, Jasper. The most pig-headed man I'd even known. He walked up to the front of the class and practically shoved Gabrielle out of the limelight. She glared at him before walking back towards me and sitting back in her spot. I squeezed her shoulder gently. She grumbled something under her breath and I kissed her temple. "My name is Jasper Underwood, Evan's uncle." The poor kid shrunk down beside Alicia. "And I'm a historian." All the parents rolled their eyes. "And today, I have brought you a very special treat" he reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a long tube. He popped the cap as slipped out very old looking scroll. "This is a scroll freshly discovered on one of my many expeditions this week." You know, if he had a long, twirled mustache…he'd almost look like a cartoon version of Satan. "one of the very hard to find Xena scrolls" Some parents looked over at me, their curiosity coming off them in waves. I waved my hand a little bit, trying to make it seem like just a coincidence. Gabrielle and I hadn't thought of changing our names when we came here. We figured that no one would know about Gabrielle's scrolls in a town this isolated, so no one could even try to make some kind of connection. Not that it'd be expected anyway. I mean, what are the chances of the legendary Warrior Princess and the Battling Bard of Potidaea, oh I don't know, time traveling two thousand years into the future and settling down in the country side? Yeah…the odds.

"What one is this?" I asked Gabrielle under my breath. She narrowed her eyes and squinted at the paper then shrugged.

Before he could begin some long winded speech, the lunch bell rang and everyone was out of there in a blink.

Alicia and Eli were off to Evan's house for a sleep over, giving Gabrielle and I some much needed alone time. We rocked in the hammock tied to the two strong weeping willows to the left of our house. The warm rays of light from the setting sun gently warmed our skin as I held my soul mate in my arms. She draped one arm over me, resting her hand on my shoulder and snuggling her head under my chin. I closed my eyes, feeling drowsy but content in our current setting. The slow back and forth movement of the hammock was soothing, much like the feeling of Gabrielle's breaths.

"Do you ever think about having another one?" She asked suddenly. I answered without opening my eyes

"Another what?"

"Baby" I opened my eyes then and looked down at her. She was staring off into space. The truth was, I did sometimes. Not very often but I did. When I was younger, I'd always dream of having a large family, tons of kids, living on a farm in a small town with the love of my life. No hate, no violence…just peace, life and love.

"Sometimes" I murmured, gently stroking her blonde hair. "But then I remember all the pains of pregnancy and realise I really don't need to do that again." I was being sarcastic, of course, but Gabrielle seemed to take me literally.

"I would have it" she said, rolling onto her stomach, and in turn, onto me. I rested my hands on the small of her back as she spoke "I want a big family Xena." She said, playing with a lock of my hair. "I want lots of grandchildren and I want to have your baby." I smiled at her term and pulled her down so I could kiss her forehead.

"Well, when you put it that way…" She grinned at me and gently pecked my lips.

"Thank you"

"No problem" I murmured against her lips as she captured me in a kiss once again.

_**A/N: **_

**Hey guys, **

**This is going out to all the registered Fanfiction people and the Fanfiction Ninjas( who read and leave no evidence they were ever here), thank you for taking time out of your busy (or not) days to read my stories (Unless you don't…). I wanted to get some opinions on the flashbacks, or flashback should I say, because I wanted to do some more in other chapters just to add some depth into Xena and Gabrielle's relationship. Such as part where it gives back story into them falling in love and then possibly up to the point where they get sent to the present…But if you didn't like the flashback I wrote in this chapter, which was mostly written just as a sample of my style of flashbacks, let me know and I might not add anymore…or I might just do it anyway. My story after all. Anyway, tell me what you think! **

**P.S. reading your reviews makes me giggle like a school girl…even though I am a school girl…but that's beside the point.**


	3. Can't Go Back

**bChapter 3**

_**Xena**_

"_Please Xena…" Gabrielle begs, holding my hand to her heart. The tears on her cheeks glisten in the setting sun after we've set up camp. I stare at her. I'd never had anyone ask me to do something like this so emotionally. "I want to feel something, anything!" Perdicus' death had taken a heavy toll on Gabrielle, emotionally and physically. She can't eat, can't sleep and is numb emotionally. All she knows right now is pain. _

"_I can't Gabrielle" I tell her gently, wrapping my fingers around hers. "Believe me, I want to. But you're not ready for it. You need time to heal." I gently stroke her cheek with the back of my hand._

"_I can't" she whimpers, "It's like someone's gutted me. It won't heal Xena. Please" she's so broken, I thought, She's lost herself. She kisses my palm, and slowly makes her way up my arm. _

"_Gabrielle" I warn her. I won't let her hurt herself more with what she thinks she wants right now. She needs time more than anything. I refuse to move as she kisses her way up to my neck, brushing my hair away from it. "Gabrielle" I say, slightly stricter. Her hands move to the laces at the back of my leathers "Gabrielle Stop!" in a blink I wrap my fingers around her wrists and take her down to the bed roles. I pin her to the ground. She stares up at me, her eyes swollen and red from crying. More tears leak down her face as she begs me with her eyes._

"_Why…?" she asks me in voice I just barely hear. I stare at her for a moment longer and as soon as I'm sure she won't resist I release one of her wrists and carefully lay on top of her. Trying not crush her, I gently cradle her cheek in my hand and ever so tenderly pressed my lips to hers. I end the kiss shortly after it'd begun. More unshed tears shone in her eyes as I looked down at her and her up at me. And very simply I said_

"_Because I love you."_

A crash downstairs woke me up. Gabrielle was sprawled on top of me, her hair tickling my nose. I didn't bother opening my eyes.

It was three weeks after Gabrielle had asked me to have another child with her. We'd left the kids with Evan's family for a few days while we flew out to Vancouver to have the procedure done. We flew back the next day. And two weeks later we were pregnant. I don't think I could ever forget how Gabrielle launched through the air at me when she saw the little pink plus. She wrapped her arms around my neck and legs around my waist like a python. She was nearly in hysterics. We were both smiling and laughing like a couple of nuts.

"Your children are awake" I said as I exhaled. Gabrielle nuzzled her head against my chest and lifted her head off me for a moment. She then dropped it back down.

"Until a decent hour, their YOUR children." She grumbled. I smirked then I realized something, it couldn't be the kids. My eyes snapped open. They weren't home. It was spring break, they'd be at Evan's family cabin until Sunday. My heart slammed against my rib cage hard. Adrenaline pulsed through my veins. I looked down at Gabrielle who was draped on top of me still, she looked so peaceful, so serene. I couldn't let her worry, not in her current condition. Even if she was only three weeks in. I kissed the top of her head and gently rolled her off of me. She looked up at me in my sudden movement to leave her embrace. "Xena?" she said softly, grasping my hand "Xena, don't leave yet" and planted small kisses on each of my knuckles. I squeezed her fingers gently.

"I'll be right back" I promised and dawned my baggy shorts and sports bra. I walked into the hall way slowly, making my way to the hall way closet soundlessly. I unlocked and opened the door and reached onto the top shelf, grabbing my chakram. It wouldn't do very good if whoever was in our house had a gun, unless they didn't notice me before I got to them. I shot a quick glance at the half open bedroom door "For the love of Eli, Gabrielle, stay in bed" I muttered under my breath as I quickly descended the short stair case. I listened intently for the sounds of movement, trying to figure out just how many of them there were. I gripped my disk tightly as I made my way to the kitchen, hearing the fridge door open. I could only see his boots from where I stood but pulled back my arm anyway. I only had one shot at this before whoever was behind the metal door noticed me.

As I tensed to throw, a jar fell to the floor, landing on his foot and causing him to cry out. The fridge door shut and I couldn't believe who I saw.

"Joxer?"I asked to no one in particular. The buffoon jumped up and down around my kitchen, clutching his right foot.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!" he whined and I grinned like a moron.

"Joxer!" I wrapped one arm around his neck and dug my knuckles into his head. "How the hell did you get here?" I asked jumping up and down slightly, circling him. He turned with me, confusion obvious on his face.

"What's with you?" he asked and I just punched his shoulder, still grinning.

"You're alive!" I said, ending my dance where it began, by the door.

"Thanks for noticing" he said sarcastically. "Now, do you got anything to eat?" He asked and reached back for the handle of the fridge.

"Xena…" a voice called from the hall way. Gabrielle soon appeared and leaned against the door frame. In her lacy underwear and transparent silk robe might I add. "Honey, come back to bed." Joxer looked over at her and his jaw hit the floor. She looked at him and just realized who he was. Her eyes lit up "Joxer?" Now it was his turn to grin like a moron. He leaned one hand against the door of the appliance

"Hhhhhhhey there Gabrielle" He said, as she hugged him. As soon as his hands touched the nearly bare skin of her lower back she pushed him away, realizing what she was wearing.

"Joxer!" she hid behind me, pulling the robe tight around herself.

"Joxer, what are you doing here?" I asked and his face turned serious…well as serious as Joxer could be at least.

"It's time!" he said simply and we both cocked our heads at him

"Time for what?" he rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Time to go back!" If I didn't have my arm around Gabrielle's waist she would have collapsed. We all sat down at the dining room table. Gabrielle had gotten some...appropriate clothing on and now leaned her head against my shoulder. Joxer told us that it had been Eli who sent him here to bring us back. The Greek gods had somehow begun an uprising. The gods I killed had started influencing the world yet again, their touch becoming more and more obvious after the fifth year Gabrielle and I had been gone. He explained that Eve would have been the one to come get us but, with her role as Eli's messenger, she couldn't leave a world that was falling apart. As Joxer began explaining the way Eli told him we had to go back, Gabrielle hid her face against my shoulder.

"we can't go back, Joxer." she said turning to face him. "it's been too long" Joxer looked at her like she was being ridiculous.

"course you can Gabby, things haven't changed too much since you left. I thought you'd be glad to go home" I could feel Gabrielle's impatience coming off her in waves. I played with her fingers absently. I didn't want to go. I wanted my family to stay my family. I wanted to see Eli and Alicia grow up the way I wish I could have seen Solun and Eve grow up. I wanted to be there for them. I wanted to sit on our front porch with Gabrielle, old and grey, in rocking chairs, watching our grandchildren play. I knew the old and grey part would never happen, being immortal, but I wanted it all the same. I wasn't a warrior anymore. I was a mother of two - soon to be three - (or five if you think about it) beautiful children. I'd hung up my sword years ago.

"we don't want to go back Joxer" I said, sitting back in my chair "we can't"

"why not?" he asked.

After a long pause, Gabrielle began "Joxer-"

"Mommy!"

"Momma!" the two shrill cries cut her off as Eli and Alicia came bolting inside. They ran directly for us, Gabrielle and I had just enough time to stand up and prepare to catch them as they leapt at us. I held Alicia close to me, inhaling her sweet scent. Gabrielle did the same with Eli, her eyes squeezed shut and holding the small boy close.

" hello beautiful" I breathed gently and bit back the tears that were trying to push through my eyes. "How was the trip? You guys are back early" I commented, looking at her and to Eli.

"Evan's mommy got sick, so we had to leave early" Alicia explained, resting her hands on my shoulders.

"Yeah! You should have been there Mommy! I ate a worm!" Eli grinned like it was a life time accomplishment. Gabrielle rolled her eyes

"What else did you do?" She asked, gently bouncing our son in her arms. Alicia answered for him

"We went fishing in a boat! It was really cool! Until Eli ate the last bate worm." She scowled at her brother who stuck his tongue out at her. Gabrielle tapped his nose with her finger in a scolding way.

"Who's that?" Eli asked, pointing to Joxer who stared at us all, dumbfounded. Gabrielle pushed Eli's hand down I had totally forgotten he was even there.

"Don't point" she whispered and set him down, her voice was hoarse with emotion. I set Alicia down beside her brother.

"Joxer," I said and he looked from the kids back up at me "This is Alicia and Eli"

"Our children" Joxer's jaw hit the floor again.

"Eli, Alicia, this is your Uncle Joxer" I said softly and Alicia waved shyly, hiding behind Gabrielle's leg. Joxer waved back, almost as timidly.

"What side of the family is he from?" Eli asked

"Momma's side"

"Mommy's side" Gabrielle and I said simultaneously. I looked down at Eli and ruffled his hair. "Why don't you two go get unpacked alright?" I said and he nodded, noticing just how upset I was. As our children walked upstairs slowly, feeling the unhappy vibe we were giving off, Gabrielle and I stood in silence, both of us breaking down on the inside.

"You weren't supposed to start a family." Joxer whispered. "You were supposed to wait here until they needed you back home again!" he raised his voice. I snapped.

"Don't you dare treat us like children!" I snarled "We waited seven damn years to be brought back home!"

"You weren't supposed to start a family together! You knew full well you had to come back to your time!" Joxer yelled back at me "Now you have to leave your—" I grabbed his shirt and dragged him over the table and slammed him into the wall.

"If you even say what I think you will…I'll crack your skull open right here." I hissed "I am not leaving my family for anything." Gabrielle placed her hand softly over mine

"Xena, let him go." I dropped Joxer hesitantly.

"Glad you see it my way Gabby" this time it was her who turned on him.

"We are not going anywhere Joxer" She snapped "Not being able to be there for Eve when she was growing up is still nearly unbearable. I will be damned if I'm not there for Alicia and Eli." And with that she turned on her heel and headed for the stairs. Joxer and I glared at each other for a long time. I had never seen him angry before, neither had I heard him raise his voice.

"If you so much as use the words 'leave' and 'children' in the same sentence…I'll slit your throat" I said in a voice barely above a whisper before following after Gabrielle. I walked into the bedroom but couldn't find Gabrielle. "Gabrielle?" I called out, searching around the room. The shower was running in our bathroom. I pushed open the door. "Gabrielle?" I called again. A small sniffle answers me. I pull open the curtain and find Gabrielle sitting in the bath tub, the shower raining down on her in her fully clothed form. I turned off the water and knelt beside the bath tub. "Gabrielle, what are you doing?" I asked, resting my chin on the cold porcelain.

"Do you think we failed them Xena?" she asked me, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes.

"What?"

"Eli and Alicia" She sniffled "If we hadn't had them, if we'd done what we were told…"

"We never would have had the amazing family we have now" I told her. She uncovered her eyes and looked at me.

"We can't go back Xena. I want to be there for our children. I don't want them to grow up without us. I want to teach them things, like how to ride a horse." I smiled slight and wiped away a tear from her cheek

"The way you wanted to teach Eve." She nodded.

"I want to give them a happy life Xena. One full of peace and love instead of war and hate."

"And we will Gabrielle." I promised her "Come on, let's get you dry shall we?"

I gently lowered Gabrielle onto the bed and climbed in beside her. She rolled over, pulling her body closer to my own and I wrapped my arms around her.

Simultaneously, we both broke out in tears.

We couldn't go back.

_**A/N:**_

**Hey guys, **

**Usually I'm strongly aposed to plugs but I figured you guy would wanna know…**

**I'm publishing a Halloween Xena story on…well…Halloween so if you go to my page or profile or whatever you should find it, I haven't the slightest idea what it'll be call yet. I won't tell you what its about yet so you'll have to read it to find out…I'm keeping it very hush hush. I'm just so devious. I'm not going to constantly remind you guys about it. One time deal I promise.**

**A shameless plug, I know and I apologies from the deepest…depths of my heart. **


	4. An Unwelcomed Visitor

**I just wanted to say, when you read the flashback, you're welcome; I just felt like I beat the system. And, in case your skeptical about the tennis thing, it is possible. How do I know? Let's just say I have personal experience AKA it happened to me.**

**Chapter 4**

_**Xena**_

I punched the red bag hard again and again. Alicia was at school and Eli was being baby sat by none other than Mrs. Ethan's Mom so I shut down the Dojo for the day. I was angry; which really isn't the best mind set to have when teaching people to defend themselves. How could Eli just demand that we suddenly just give up everything we have and go save a world we no longer belonged to? Gabrielle and I had moved on. Greece was no longer our home. Our farm house was our home. This beautiful country side was our home. And if Eli or Joxer thought for one second we'd give that up without a fight-I kicked the bag hard enough to send it swinging.

A soft rasp on the closed door caught my attention and I sighed, couldn't people realize the bright red "sorry we're CLOSED" sign wasn't there for decoration?

"we're closed!" I hollered "all lessons will resume tomorrow."

"I thought I could get a private lesson" I turned towards the door and found my favorite blonde outside the glass with a picnic basket. She gave me a little wave "Hey"

I couldn't stop the stupid grin that twisted my lips as I jogged towards the door and unlocked it. I opened it just enough to get my head through and keep her out "depends on the type of private lesson" I purred seductively. She rolled her eyes and flashed me her sais under the blanket in the basket. I sighed in faux remorse. "what's the password?" she pulled me down and whispered something in my ear that made even me blush. "that works" I said and pulled the door open for her. She brought my face down to her and kissed my lips softly. I rested my hands against her stomach, feeling the non-existent bump. "How's the parasite?" I asked, teasingly of course. I could practically taste the love I had for my unborn child on my words. She rested her hands over mine but slapped my arm gently

"Don't talk about your baby like that" she growled "and he or she is perfectly fine thank you very much." I Eskimo kissed her before taking the picnic basket and setting it in the middle of the hard wood flooring. I set up the targets for Gabrielle, lining up the bulls-eyes on the farthest wall. "How's your writing coming along?" I asked, sitting down on the blanket she spread out and popped a grape into my mouth. "Gabrielle...?" I said when she didn't answer me. She stared off into space, lost in her own little world. "you who" I said waving a hand in front her face "pilot to co-pilot, anyone in there?" she blinked a few times then focused in on me.

"huh?" was her intelligent answer. Seeing the look in her eyes, I gently squeezed her shoulder. Instantly I knew what she'd been thinking about.

"Gabrielle, I thought we had agreed not to dwell on the whole going home thing." I murmured and she gave me a look. No, not A look. THE look.

"yeah, I guess that's why you started beating the crap out of the bag right?" she snarled, her voice rising slightly as she jabbed her thumb over her shoulder at the still swinging punching bag. I put my hands out in front of me in a 'don't shoot gesture

"alright Gabrielle, I'm sorry. I just don't want you to worry yourself sick over this." she pinched the bridge of her nose, exhaling slowly.

"no I'm sorry" she said softly and picked up her weapons, twirling one and launching it across the dojo and into the target. It hit just a little off center. "I just...I know we can't leave Eli and Alicia...I won't, but can we really doom the rest of the world to be thrown back into the time of Greek gods?" A cold sliver of guilt lodge itself in my heart. She had a valid point. Now, it wasn't only a choice between leaving our family or staying. Now it was a choice between staying, betraying Eve and dooming the rest of the world to the mercy of the Greek gods or leaving and dooming our children to death or worse, thinking their parents abandoned them.

"We'll figure it out Gabrielle." I promised her, hoping I sounded more assured than I felt. "If we can cheat death we should be able to save everyone, right?" she threw the second weapon and missed completely, a knock on the door distracting her. I groaned, how many times did I need to fix the wall before people would stop breaking it?

Joxer stood at the door, giving Gabrielle and me a sheepish wave. Hesitantly, I stood up and opened the door for him.

"Hey Xena, Gabby..." he said nervously "I uh...picked some apples from a tree in your yard" he said, holding three big bright green granny smiths in his arms "I hope you don't mind" Gabrielle stood up and, expecting her to blow up at him, I took a step back.

"Join us?" she asked, motioning to the blanket. He gave her a small smile before awkwardly sitting down with us. Things seemed to be getting back on track. Almost. 

_**Gabrielle**_

Xena and I drove at an easy pace to the school. Joxer was pretty much passed out in the back seat, which Xena wasn't very appreciative about as his snoring drowned out the radio. I gently brushed the stray lock of raven coloured hair behind her ear. She looked over at me, her impossibly icy-blue eyes were hard for a brief moment before melting into soft water. She smiled slightly at me before turning back to the window. In that moment, I knew I'd made the right choice in bringing her back from the spirit realm.

_When she sacrificed herself in Japan…my entire world was crashing down around me. Everything seemed dark. Food had no taste, I'd go to sleep and only wake up more exhausted, alcohol had no effect. I had begun giving up on life all together. That was, at least, until I went to Egypt. In the temple of Osiris, the Egyptian priestess had preformed some ritual to give her back her life using the ashes I'd brought along. I, of course, was not allowed in the temple as if went on. Only when they needed my blood was I allowed to enter. They needed something to ground her to the earth with. My life essence, AKA blood, was taken to mix with her ashes. I admit, they'd scared me a little. They didn't ask very nicely, they'd grabbed me roughly and pushed me to my knees in front of the sandstone slab in which they'd sprinkled her on. One was on the opposite side of me and held my right wrist tightly in his strong hands but strangely satin smooth skin. He wore the mask of Anubis, the guardian of the dead, which was the only mask there I recognized. The cold eyes of the Jackal stared easily into mine as sudden fear and panic flooded my body. Two strong, bronzed skin men pushed down on my shoulders to keep me on my knees, the Jackal still gripped my wrist. I could hear my heart pounding ruthlessly in my ears and painfully slamming against my ribs._

_Two young girls walked out from behind pillars concealed in the shadows and stepping into the light. They gently removed the chakram from my hip holster and Xena's sword from the sheath on my back. They laid them beside the ashes and disappeared again, coming back with what I had learned was an ankh; a symbol of the "breath of life." The Priestess took it from the girl and pressed its handle into the palm of my hand, wrapping my fingers around it tightly, telling me without words that I wasn't to let go, no matter what happened. The beautiful woman nodded to another strong man who reached over the stone altar and grasped my other wrist, stretching my arm out palm up, a mirror image of my right. In that hand she laid a gold scarab beetle, a symbol of spontaneous creation. The two young girls each lifted one of Xena's weapons and walk over to either end of the stone, holding the blades dangerously close to my wrists. It was extremely difficult to keep calm when my instincts told me to get the hell out of there. There was the restraints keeping me both pinned to the flood and stretched across the altar, the chanting of the priestess in a language I could barely understand and the two angelic children holding two gleaming blades a hairs breath from my skin. I was almost certain everyone else in the room could hear the ridiculously loud pounding of my heart in my chest. Adrenaline coursed through my veins and I fought to keep my breath rate normal and relaxed. Whatever was about to happen, I was sure, would be agonizing. _

_The priestess raised her hands up to the sky and began murmuring words that flew from her lips so fast they seemed to blur together. Drummers that were situated in the corner of the temple began beat a heavy rhythm, forcing my heart to pound faster than I had ever believed possible. It felt like it would punch a hole through my ribs. Soon enough the pressure of my heart beat in my ears drowned out everything else around me. Swirling black smoke fogged my vision though I was sure I was the only one to see it. I was blinded within minutes. What had to be wet paint brushed were drawn across my palms until I felt nothing at all. They were taking my senses away, leaving me in the dark with nothing. It felt like oblivion. Only when the chakram and sword touched my skin did I see and feel a white hot light sink into me. The light started as a small orb a far distance away, its heat just barely brushing my skin. Then the blades dug in and sliced deep. Agony shot through my body and I convulsed the sound to leave my mouth was a long, throat burning scream of Xena's name. I screamed out the physical pain of the knives slicing through my flesh and the agony I'd buried deep into my soul that came with facing everyday without my love beside me. It felt like every nerve ending in my body was set on fire. I couldn't tell how long I'd screamed out for before the blackness took me again and the pain disappeared. I was floating in oblivion. _

_I didn't remember much after I woke up. I remembered feeling something beside me, warm and soft. I remember waking up slightly with blurry vision and seeing just a bright out line and a dark silhouette of a body beside me. My entire body screamed. I lifted my hands to try and shield my eyes from the light only to find they were wrapped in silk around my wrists and hands, preventing movement of my fingers. The white cloth had been stained a dull shade of pink where my wrists were. I blinked a few times, trying to clear my vision. The warm sun bathed my skin from the door way of the temple, which was now empty besides me and the body next to me. It felt like it had been years since the slicing of my wrists but it couldn't have been more than hours or a day or two at the most. I felt oddly serene even after the torture I'd endured, so long as I didn't move. _

"_Gabrielle." A weak voice said from beside me. Still in my strange, placid state, I couldn't exactly process the feeling of seeing my now alive Warrior Princess laying next to me. _

"_Xena" I said softly, but couldn't move to touch her. _

"_It hurts" she whimpered, but didn't move from what I could see._

"_I know" I whispered gently, "I know."_

I leaned my head against Xena's shoulder as she drove, looking at the long scars across my forearms. At a stop light she gently raised one to her lips and laid a butterfly light kiss against my skin. "Do they hurt still?" she asked, brushing her thumbs over the slight indent. I shrugged

"Not much." She kissed my left temple before continuing towards the school. We pulled into the parking lot and stopped. This was where Alicia was supposed to meet us. Eli was still at home being watched. Where was Alicia? It'd been only five minutes since the kids had been dismissed. Xena was out of the car within seconds of us arriving. The only other time Alicia hadn't been waiting at the usual spot at the usual time was when she'd gotten hit under the eye with a tennis racket in her gym class. Xena and I freaked out when we saw her, me more panicky and her more heads-will-roll esc. But Alicia was fine, she was confused as to why the teacher was freaking out and just kept asking if she could have a lollipop.

This time felt different. I could feel in my bones that something was wrong. It wasn't any kind of logical fear that made Xena and me on edge like we were. It was more of a primal instinct of a mother bear. "Where's Alicia?" Xena demanded from the Substitute Teacher who was waiting there watching as all the students left. He turned to look at her and jumped at the fierce expression on her face. I followed behind her quickly.

"Xena" I said warningly and put my hand on her upper arm, easing her back from her intimidating position. "Our daughter, Alicia Nightingale-Hunter…?" He couldn't keep his eyes off of Xena's cold expression for more than a few seconds at a time. I could understand though, when Xena and I had first started adventuring together it took a while to get used to her anger and sudden coldness. I think it took her a while to get used to being good and learning that I didn't want to be her enemy.

"She-she…a man came to pick her up." My heart stopped cold.

"What?" Xena stepped forward and this time I didn't stop her. "You let her go with some man?"

"H-he said he was her-her uncle!" Xena and I paused for a moment before taking off in a sprint towards the truck. No, no, no, no!

Soon, Xena, Joxer and I were barreling down the street at a speed well over the limit. "How could he just hand our daughter off to a man who claimed to be related to us?" I demanded.

"He's a complete and total idiotic moron! If Alicia isn't alright…" she drove faster "There will be no place in heaven or earth that TOC will be safe." We took the corner hard as we turned onto our road. "Xena!" I yelped as we passed the house. Alicia, Eli and a tall man were in the front yard, his back turned to us. She hit the brakes and slammed into reverse. Before the car had even come to a complete stop Xena and I were out of the car, leaving Joxer in the back seat.

"Mommy! Momma!" Eli and Alicia whooped and ran around the man and to us. I kneeled down and wrapped my arms around my children. Xena stepped in front of us. "Mr. Knightly was playin' tag with us! Wanna play too?" The man turned slowly until he faced us. If my blood froze before, it was now boiling in my body.

"Hello Xena, Blondie." I stood up slowly and Xena narrowed her eyes, a low growl echoing from her throat.

"Ares."


	5. Open Wounds

**Chapter 5**

_**Xena**_

_No, no that didn't just happen. Perdicus didn't get down on one knee and ask Gabrielle, MY Gabrielle, to marry him. She didn't say yes. She turned around and kissed me. She proclaimed her love for me. "Are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into?" I ask, pacing back and forth in our camp. She watches from the log I dragged over after telling her we need to have a talk. "I mean, marriage is a BIG commitment. Are you sure you're ready for that? Are you ready for all the responsibilities and—" _

"_XENA!" I turn to look at the irritated girl. Apparently she'd said my name several times and I'd been too lost in my rant to hear her. I could almost hear a referee with a microphone yelling _

"_IN THE LEFT CORNER, GABRIELLE! THE GIRL WHO CAN TURN XENA TO PUDDING WITH A SINGLE GLANCE! AND IN THE RIGHT CORNER, XENA! THE WARRIOR PRINCESS WHO IS ABOUT TO GET HER ASS KICKED BY A GIRL HALF HER SIZE!" _

"_It's not like I'm a kid who wants a dog. You don't have to warn me about all the responsibilities. Perdicus and I are adults. I love him." Ooh and it's a sucker punch to the gut that knocks the air from my lungs. Luckily, in all my years of learning not to show emotion, I'm able to seem fine and dandy. "I know what I'm doing Xena." She says standing up and walking over to me. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find another girl to corrupt" She's teasing, of course, but it still hurts. I don't want anyone else. "Xena?" I blink and look down at her. She's got me dazed against the ropes and she's winding up for the final shot. "I will be fine. Perdicus is a good man, he'll be good to me." She reaches out to touch my arm, trying to sooth me, and I flinch back from her. K.O. I give up. Perdicus has her wrapped around his finger. She's made her choice, and this time, this time it's not me. "Xena…" she breathes, confused at my rejection of her. "Xena what's wrong?" _

"_I just need some air…" Then I realize we were outside "I just, I…I just have to go" And I take a few controlled strides until I pass the cover of trees. "I'll be back in a little while!" I yell before taking off sprinting through the trees, the night blurring the world around me as I push myself harder and faster. I need distance. I need separation from pain and my conscious mind. I run and run until my legs suddenly give out from under me and I catapult to the leaf covered ground, hitting my head roughly on the hardened earth. After the buzzing black dots clear from my vision, I just stare at the brilliant night sky. And then I do what I haven't done for a long, long time. I begin to cry._

_No, we weren't standing there with Perdicus and Joxer while the man in black announced them husband and wife, until death do they part. That couldn't happen. Because if she were to hurt me like that surely I couldn't still love her. I couldn't feel for her like I do. It just can't be possible. So why is it happening? Why am I still in love with her? She throws her arms around his neck and presses her lips to his. I can't watch, but I can't look away either. In the twenty first century, it would be like a car crash; it's horrible, it makes you feel sick, it scares you and you know you could just turn away, but at the same time, you can't. And as my heart was breaking into thousands of pieces, I find that I can't stop causing the pain. Maybe this was supposed to happen to me, I muse. I've screwed with people's emotions, I've destroyed lives and threw away everything that anyone could ever have had with me…maybe this was a fit punishment. I deserve this pain. I deserve to feel worthless and discarded. I'm not good enough for her._

_The sad part is, I believe it._

"_Thank you, Xena, this day wouldn't have been the same if you weren't here with me too" She tells me as we walk away from Perdicus and Joxer who are swept up in a conversation. We slowly walk around the corner of the cathedral and stop. Gabrielle looks beautiful in her gown and headdress. I suddenly wish I'd worn something that maybe would have made her swoon for me the way I was swooning for her. Gabrielle twirls around, sighing dreamily, lost in her dance as I stood there watching. It was amusing to see her being so child-like on the day of her wedding. It reassured me that she was still MY she wasn't, not really, not anymore. She was Perdicus'. "Xena?" She says softly and takes my hand in hers. "Something wrong?" I must have zoned out while she was talking. I smile gently, sadly, and plant a small, butterfly kiss on the back of her hand._

"_No," I lie with an even voice "No I'm just thinking about how much I'll miss you while you're in Potidaea with…I'm just thinking about how much I'll miss you." Her face softens, her beautiful features suddenly weighed down with grief. Is it wrong that I was glad? That I took reassurance from the fact that she felt guilty about leaving me. _

"_oh Xena," she whispers and raises her other hand to my shoulder, gently stroking my upper arm. I don't know what I was thinking when I leaned down towards her lips. Maybe I was jealous and wanted to claim what was rightfully mine. Maybe I wanted to know what it felt like to be kissed by someone as pure as she is, or as important to me. But I press my lips to hers, ever so carefully and instantly the entire world seemed brighter, perfect. I felt as though I could save the entire world just so long as I had her. But as I pull away from her and capture her in a hug, I realize I don't have her. And as she walked away with the man she married, it was like a dimmer switch had been turned down on the world around me. _

_How could I save the world without her help?_

_How could I keep from the dark without her light?_

"Joxer," I said, side stepping in front of my family as he got out of the car "Get Alicia and Eli inside."

"right" Joxer said and herded the complaining kids towards the front door.

"Don't you move you sick son of a bitch" I snarled as Ares attempted to turn towards the leaving kids. He froze and turned back, an amused smirk on his lips.

"Well, Xena, look at you; finally living out life as a good mother. Raising your children from birth unlike you did with Solan and Eve." He turned to my soul mate "and you Gabrielle, finally being the mom you failed to be to Hope? What? You think that being a good mother to a single child will make up for attempting to kill your first child several times?" Gabrielle gripped her sais tightly and twirled them once before launching forward. Ares just laughed like a mad man as I barred her off.

"You royal—"

"Gabrielle." I cut her off. "Let me handle this." I turned around to face the man threatening everything we'd earned, everything we held dear. "What do you want Ares?" He grinned

"I just wanted to drop by, say hello to my favorite warrior princess and her battling bard of a best friend."

"Cut the crap." The blonde snapped. He chuckled

"I like your fire Gabrielle, it's very becoming." She growled a few cusses under her breath. "Anyway, Xena" he took a few steps forward, leisurely, as if he was only out for a morning stroll. "I came to make you an offer. A deal really." His hand rested on the hilt of his sword. I felt Gabrielle tense beside me. "Doubtlessly you've been informed by your little not-so-dead-dead-friend about Athena and the other's uprising." My fingers itched at the close proximity of Ares to me. Instinctually, my hand went to my side, where my chakram would usually have been. Ares glanced down and smirked cockily. "Life as a twenty-first century mother has really maimed your ability to protected your family, unable to carry your chakram in a normal setting must really be a downer." I really would have liked to punch the smugness from his face. "Anyway, I have a proposition for you."

"We don't want your propositions or your deals Ares." Gabrielle said, anger dripping off her words "Remember the deal you made with me to send me to Chen? The deal that nearly destroyed everything?"

"Gabrielle, please." I scolded her. She looked up at me like I'd just slapped her.

"How do you do that Xena? Silence the little runt like that?" Gabrielle threw one of her sais before I could even realize she'd moved. Ares caught it in his shoulder, unfortunately, though we were immortal, we couldn't kill gods. "uh…ow?" he said, pulling it out and sticking it in the ground.

"What is your deal Ares?"

"Simple Xena. Marry me and when the other gods are free, they'll spare you and your family. Refuse and we'll kill you and those two little angels inside."

"No deal Ares." I said evenly "Because when Gabrielle and I stop you and your brothers and sisters, we're going to be the only ones left. We'll cut you and your family down like wheat and then you'll be the one bargaining for your life.

He looked between the two of us then rested his eyes on me "You know how to find me Xena, just don't wait until it's too late to change your mind." With a flash of light, the god of war disappeared from our home. Gabrielle and I stood there in silence. We could hear Eli, Alicia and Joxer all goofing around in the house. Then, in half a second Gabrielle broke free of the immobilizing clutches of shock and turned on me. She retrieved one her discarded sais and pointed it at me.

"don't you dare even think about it Xena" She snarled, knowing without my telling her what I was thinking. I clenched my fists by my side and felt my body tense in preparation for battle. Gabrielle and I hadn't fought since Hope killed Solan. We most certainly hadn't fought anywhere near the kids either. No yelling, no throwing things, no nothing. And now, Gabrielle was threatening me with a weapon.

"Gabrielle, you know it's the right thing to do" I said quietly, trying to control the storm of emotions stirring inside my heart.

"Get over it Xena. This is our family we're talking about!" She was screaming bloody murder at me now, that got my blood pumping.

"Don't you DARE talk to me like I don't know what's at stake here!" I yelled back, taking a step forward. I may not have had a weapon ready, but I could still fight with my hands if I had to. "Gabrielle if you think for a moment that I would willingly sacrifice my family for the world you are dead wrong! But if there is a world where the gods are in control, we're their main targets they WILL come after us and Eli and Alicia will NOT last long." I knew why Gabrielle was acting the way she was, but it didn't make it easier to take. Seeing the woman I loved pointing a potentially deadly weapon at me was heartbreaking.

"Momma?" Eli's voice came from the doorway. From where he stood he couldn't have been able to see the sais in Gabrielle's hands. Slowly, I reached out and wrapped my fingers around the blade. The blonde let go of it willingly, knowing that too many unanswerable questions would be brought up if the kids, or anyone else for that matter, saw it.

"Yes, Sweetie?"

"Can Uncle Joxer take us for ice cream?" Alicia asked, appearing with Joxer in tow. I glanced at Gabrielle who didn't meet my eyes.

"Sure, just let me get you some money" I walked around my partner, giving her a cold leer as I breezed past her and into the house.

Once I'd seen the trio off, I retreated to the bedroom. I needed some time to think. I needed to find a way to save both the world and my family. Gabrielle was pregnant. We only had a miniscule amount of time before she became so pregnant that she would have difficulty fighting. So that would give us maybe two, three months at the most. I stared at out the window but didn't see anything. It was just empty so far as I was concerned. There was no beauty left. "You won't take Ares' offer…will you?" a quiet voice asked from the doorway. Gabrielle leaned against the frame, her arms crossed over her stomach loosely. She sniffled. She'd been crying again. I didn't turn around.

"No. I don't plan to." My voice was even but not cold. I didn't like fighting with her. I didn't like what it did to me. What it did to her. "But we can't stop Ares and Athena and everyone else by staying here."

"You…you don't plan to?" she clung to my second sentence "Xena, you promised me we'd stay together. You PROMISED me we'd raise our children together from birth to adulthood." I didn't move from where I was and neither did she. I hated this part of our arguments; the part where we waited for one person to say something that would light the fuse so we could explode at each other like two nuclear warheads.

"I have no intention of leaving you Gabrielle. Even if I did, I know you'd find another Perdicus to help raise our children." And the fuse ignites.

"That is SO not fair Xena!" I rose from my seated position and faced her, her green eyes sparking with outrage. "You told me that was in the past! You told me you didn't care anymore!"

"It's hard to get over the fact that my soul mate chose a sorry excuse for a soldier over me!"

"You take that back right now Xena or I swear to Eli and his God that I will—"

"Will what, Gabrielle?" We were toe to toe with each other in the middle of our bedroom. Gabrielle's face was twisted into a mask of undeniable fury; I was sure it matched mine. "You'll stab me?" She raked her fingers through her hair with irritation.

"God damn it Xena! Perdicus was a good man! He was kind to me!"

"Yeah, I bet he was"

"he has nothing to do with anything happening now. That was a long, long time ago."

"And that makes it better? The fact that you loved me, but you loved him more a long time ago?"

"I didn't understand that I could have a relationship with you! I was young and naïve, Xena!"

"but you still would have picked him over me, is that it? Even if you'd known that we could have been together, you would have picked him."

"Yes. No! I don't know Xena! That was a long, long time ago!"

"You picked him because he couldn't handle what being a soldier meant. He couldn't handle the guilt of killing, the pain of taking another's life even if it meant saving people who needed to be saved!"

"You're one to talk Xena! Saving lives, HA! You destroyed entire villages and cities if they wouldn't pay you tribute! You turned Ming Ten into a tyrant, you slaughtered hundreds of thousands of people! Because of you, Calisto was cracked, because of you she BECAME you!"

"And so what? I've made mistakes! Crucify me, again!"

"It's because of you Perdicus is dead!" suddenly, everything was quiet. An instant uneasy feeling spread through me as Gabrielle tensed. Wet splats echoed around the room as ooze hit the floor. Slowly, Gabrielle looked down. "Xena!" she gasped, staring at her drenched forearms and hands. "Oh god, Xena!"

Blood.


	6. Ripples in the Water

**WARNING: This chapter does contain a little bit of lustfulness on Gabrielle's part to Xena in the flash back near the end. Just so everyone is aware and no one's flipping out because there's implied sexual content. It's rated T for a reason people. There is no graphic sex or any sex at all really, just a prelude to Gabrielle and Xena's first time. But if the thought of Gabrielle and Xena expressing physical love for each other is unnerving to you (and that would make me wonder why you're here in the first place) you may want to stop reading while you have a chance. If not, you're lucky enough to be my target audience and I'll shut up now.**

**P.S. Sorry if I get some of the time lapses messed up. I really suck at keeping things like that straight. Just so long as you get it what's goin' on, that's all that matters really. Ok, now I'll really shut up.**

**Chapter 6**

_**Gabrielle**_

It burned. The long, narrow, light pink lines that stretched from my wrist to my elbow bled and burned. Not just the sensation of burning. They literally boiled the blood that oozed out leisurely. The sound of sizzling flesh filled the air. I cried out as my legs buckled. Xena caught me, but just barely. Her shirt had burned away in the center of her chest, revealing a white hot, glowing ankh. She dragged me towards the bathroom of our bedroom, unable to pick me up because of the chance she might burn me more. The blood still trickling from my scars was hot, steam rose from it as it met the cooler air. Something had to have gone wrong from the ritual. Surely this couldn't be what was supposed to happen. Could it? She heaved me into the shower and turned the cold water on full blast before getting in with me, ripping the remains of her shirt off with one heavy tug and tossing it carelessly out. She tore the long sleeves of my shirt down the centre and, after completely removing them from my body, laid them on the side of the tub. The dark tentacles of unconsciousness wrapped around my mind and quickly pulled me into the shadows and away from the pain.

_The hot ball of flames burned brightly in the sky as I stood in the valley, boxed in by two, large golden mountains of sand. The sun heated my skin, making me itch. Where the hell was I? What was I doing there? I was in the shower last time I checked. And this, oddly enough, looked like Egypt. Egypt from Cleopatra's' time. I squinted through the light and the waves of heat that blinded and distorted my vision. On either mountain, a group of figures over looked the vast plain; a large group on the left and a smaller group on the right. I couldn't tell who they were, only that these two groups of people were enemies. One figure on each side stood apart from the rest, as if obeying a warriors code and showing respect to their opponent before commencing. The leader of the right side raised the hand clutching some sort of axe-like thing. I felt the stress and bloodlust rolling from their army like water over rapids. The other leader hesitated briefly, waiting for something, something I couldn't see before raising their arm, holding what looked like a hoop on a stick. The soldiers on their side were all down on one knee. The concentration and amount of will force they emitted was just as over-whelming as the bloodlust. Suddenly, realization hit me like a truck. I was directly in the center of a battlefield; I was directly between two armies ready to charge into war. I swallowed hard. Neither leader seemed to realize I was there._

_Maybe they didn't care. _

_I screamed for them to stop. I screamed that I was there! They didn't notice. And at the same time, both leaders swung their arms forward, pointing towards one another. The battle cries of the men as they launched forward was nearly as deafening as an earthquake. The ground seemed to shake under me."Gabrielle!" Xena's voice cried for me. I looked behind me, finding my warrior sprinting head long through the field towards me. A flash of light from above me caught my attention. An orange and yellow ball had connected midair as the figures from the mountains leapt down from their perch, all the way from the top to the bottom with ease, the front two with grace. _

"_Gabrielle!" Xena cried out for me again. _

"_Xena!" I yelled back, sudden panic flooded me as the walls of violence hungry men closed in around us. The black shapes of faceless soldiers were charging like war horses. I ran towards Xena as she ran for me. We stretched our arms towards each other, finger tips just grazed before the river of bodies swept Xena one way and me the other. "XENA!" _

"_GABRIELLE!"_

My eyes snapped open and I lurched forward, only to find myself restrained by strong arms. "Shhhh…" Xena's voice cooed gently "It's al-alright Gabrielle" the cold water had been turned off and she was cradling me in her lap, her lips planted on the top of my soaked hair. She was shivering almost violently.

"What…what happened?" I looked around the wet shower, the sudden snap from hot to cold made goose bumps decorate my skin and my teeth begin to chatter.

"You p-passed o-out" she informed me sweetly. I could tell by her voice I'd scared her. I raise my wrists and found the scars were just as they were before. Nothing strange had happened. Or at least there was no evidence of it. "I d-don't know what the whole burning skin thing was b-b-but it's over now." She kissed my hand and nuzzled her face into my palm. I stroked her damp, cold cheek with my thumb.

"W-we have a l-lot to talk about…" I whispered remorsefully, closing my eyes from the sudden wave of exhaustion that flooded me. She nodded, her hands still holding mine to her face.

"uh huh." She grunted, "But first we're g-g-going to the clinic to get y-you and our parasite looked after." I raised my free hand and punched her shoulder weakly, still to tired to do much about it.

"d-don't call your c-c-child a parasite" I mumbled. She smiled against my hand.

"hey doc?" Xena said as we sat in one of the few rooms the clinic had. I was laying on the stiff, uncomfortable bed with the paper sheets as the doctor checked my blood pressure. We didn't tell her about the sudden burning symbols. We just wanted a check up on our babies condition, not a one way trip to the insane asylum. "A fetus is technically a parasite, right?" The doctor didn't even hesitate before answering.

"technically, yes." I groaned

"Why did you do that? Now she'll NEVER stop calling our baby that."

"By law I'm not allowed to lie to my patients" a mischievous glint shone in the doctor's honey brown eyes.

"See Gabrielle? Parasite is a technically correct term, tell'er why doc" the Doctor sighed and walked over to the cabinet, pulled out a large thing of lollipops

"Because a baby feeds off the life force of the mother" she handed a bright red one to me and a purple one to Xena. "Your baby is fine. There is nothing I can find wrong with either of you." I looked at the candy on a stick. Really? I was older than the doctor's great, great, great, great grandmother and she gave me a lollipop? Mind you, she didn't know but…really?

"Doc, don't you think I'm a little old for—" she moved away from me to put the candy back and exposed Xena, happily sucking away like a child with the most moronic grin on her face. "Xena…really?"

"What?" she looked at me with genuine confusion "it's PURPLE!" she stuck her tongue out at me and, indeed, it was a bright purple colour. She looked at my lollipop "you gonna eat that?" I sighed.

Wow.

We walked in the Pub around seven and it was fairly empty but still busy. "hey Bruno" Xena greeted the bar keeper, one of the few friends we'd managed to make in this crowd. He grunted and nodded slightly in response. Don't think that he's being rude. Xena and I were the only ones who could get more than a growl from him. He was almost seven feet tall, a complete beast of a man. "Got a table left?"

"Booth" her grumbled, pointing towards the left wall of the large log cabin styled pub. Xena took my hand in hers and led me towards the booth at the end. I sat down on the plush bench across from my raven haired partner.

"So, let's go over the ground rules." I said and she rolled her eyes

"Really Gabrielle? We need ground rules?"

"Yeah, Xena, yeah we do. I don't want this to turn into a screaming match." I murmured softly, playing with my napkin. Her strong fingers reached for mine and squeezed them gently.

"I hate it when we fight" she whispered and I smiled at her sheepishly

"Same. Which is why we need rules." She nodded without hesitation "Ok, first off, we need to talk things through. No snide remarks, no rude comments, just a civilized conversation." She rolled her eyes and looked away at the large flat screen TV broadcasting the latest hockey game, a sport Xena had grown to love due to the sudden fights. "Xena" she looked back to me, already an annoyed expression had settled on her features. "We have a lot of things we never talked about that we should have a long, long time ago. Before we decided to have Alicia and Eli." Her face softened and she nodded. "Second rule, we have to speak in complete and total honesty."

"that it?"

"I think so, yes."

"Alright then, I'll start." She cleared her throat and I swallowed hard before cutting her off.

"Why do you hate Perdicus so much?" She blinked at me then scowled.

"pass"

"You can't 'pass', Xena"

"You already know the answer"

"If I did, I wouldn't be asking"

"Fine. I don't"

"Wow, thanks for the truly in depth answer there."

"I told you the truth. Strongly disliking someone and hating someone are two completely different things."

"So you don't like him?"

"He was your first." I halted my next comment.

"What?"

"That's why I don't like him. He was your first. The first hand you held, the first dance you had, the first person who held you. He was your first partner, your first kiss, your first time. You were his and he was yours." I saw her eyes drift slightly, she was seeing something far in the past. "He got you to marry him"

"Oh, Xena…" She smiled slightly at me, embarrassment playing across her face, she'd never been good with emotional things.

"I guess, since he died, I've always felt second best. Like, if he was still here, you'd be happily married while I ran around savin' people…like you wouldn't care if I…" I reached across the table and pulled her face towards my own, gently pressing my lips to hers. I felt her fingers gently brush against the back of my hands that caressed her cheeks. I pulled away and looked into her impossibly blue eyes.

"Xena, you're second to no one. Understand?" she hesitated briefly before nodding. "You're my warrior, Xena. If you disappeared, if you…I would know. Trust me." She nodded again before sitting back down at the same time I did.

"If you had truly known that you and I could have been together, like we are right now, when Perdicus asked you to marry him, would you still have said yes?" I looked down and felt a cold sliver of regret pierce my heart. Suddenly I wished I'd never made the honesty rule. I inhaled and exhaled heavily.

"Probably, yes." She looked away from me, nostrils flaring. I swallowed hard and opened my mouth to ask my own question when she interrupted me.

"Why?" she asked, more like growled. I blinked at the force of her question and the emotional strength behind it. "Would you have chosen me if I'd given up the way of the warrior? If I'd gotten down on one knee and asked you for your hand the way he did? If I told you I'd marry you and settle down in a small village?" I couldn't find my voice. She breathed in deeply and exhaled a few times. I could only stare at her, watch her suffer as she relived the memory all over again. I realized how much I'd hurt her and it was killing me. I looked away from the woman I loved, looking at everyone else; from the teenagers to the old men cheering as our team scored a goal. I looked at everyone but her. I couldn't look at her and see her soul burning the way it was. The dark fire that set her heart ablaze when she was truly enraged.

"Would you still love me if I told you I don't know?" I asked softly and closed my eyes, dreading the answer. I could feel her eyes burning my skin.

"yes" she whispered after a long moment of silence. Her voice was quiet, almost sad. "I couldn't stop loving you when you married him. I couldn't stop loving you after you nearly got me executed. I can't stop loving you just because you would have married him long ago." I was relieved from her searing gaze as I opened my eyes, though she didn't verbalize her thought, I heard it loud and clear. "Doesn't mean it's not killing me inside."

"alright" the burly bartender grumbled as he lumbered over to our table. "A beer for Xena, and milk for Gab." He sat the white liquid down in front of me and I stared at it wide eyed.

"How did you know!" He grinned widely at me, an unusual expression from the normally sullen looking man.

"Sixth sense." He offered and looked at Xena, who looked at the TV. It surprised me how he could read her as easily as I could have read a children's book. He sighed and gestured for me to move out of the booth. I did as I was told, the large bald, but bearded man slid in beside Xena and patted the spot beside him, a silent gesture for me to sit opposite of my lover. "Alright Xena." He rumbled in his impossibly deep voice. "What's wrong?"

"huh?" she said, startled by his sudden presence. "Nothing's wrong, Bruno." I scoffed and she glared at me.

"Nothing's wrong my ass." He punched Xena's shoulder affectionately. Bruno was like a father figure to Xena and I, Xena more so. "Don't make me ask your blonde, we both know how she gets when you ask her to explain something." Xena smiled slightly at his jab at me. If it had been anyone other than Bruno, I would have taken offence to his comment. But I knew it was all in good fun. Or so I hoped.

"Just...relationship issues." Xena said softly, playing with the condensation on the side of the bottle.

"oooh, I see." He murmured, a hint of sarcasm tainting his voice. "So? Stop your whining and get over it." He grumbled and Xena looked at him in shock

"Get...over it!" She cried out, just barely quiet enough to be unheard by everyone else. "Are you kidding me? She married someone else!"

"That was forever ago Xena!" I hit the table with frustration. Bruno sat there with the smuggest look on his face. He'd gotten Xena to talk in less than four seconds. New world record. "What about you and your warlord ways huh? The multiple times you nearly got us both killed?" Bruno knew everything. Despite his strange, almost unintelligent brutish exterior, Bruno was actually a very well educated man. History major to be exact. Why he didn't freak out after discovering Xena and I were the REAL Xena and Gabrielle, is lost on me. He didn't seem to like us pushing the subject either. So we left well enough alone.

"Oh please Gabrielle! I'm a completely different person—"

"Shut your traps" the man interjected, shutting us both up right away. "I'mma gonna teach you a little somthin' I use when Shila and I have our spats, alright?" Xena and I glanced at each other briefly before looking back to Bruno. The man shifted his apron slightly before folding his massive hands on the table. "Close your eyes" he commanded. We obeyed without hesitation. "I know the worst time in your guys' lives was when Hope killed Solan, am I right?" I looked away the same time Xena did. Bruno took that as confirmation. "Think about how bad that was, how hurt you both were, how badly you both hated each other." I felt the soul scorching feeling that came with despising someone. I felt it fill my entire being and seemingly pour from my skin. I could feel it coming from Xena, filling the small distance between us until it was so concentrated, so real that I felt it pushing against my skin. "Now, think of the first time you two were together, I mean together-together. The first time you two slept together." I felt a hot blush flash across my skin. With anyone else that would have been mortifying, being asked by someone, especially a male, to think of the first time Xena and I had...you know. But Bruno was different, to say the least. It wasn't awkward. He couldn't care less what we did in bed. We were two people. We were just two people he happened to care about. He hated to see us fight like we were. He took it upon himself to make things right. He was a surprisingly good couples councillor.

The air between us that had been flooded with our resentment towards one another slowly ebbed away as love overwhelmed it, memories of gentle caresses, soft kisses and murmurs of sweet nothings seemed to pass from my mind to Xena's and back again.

_It's a year or two after Perdicus' death and Xena is still avoiding me. Well, maybe avoiding isn't the right word. She refused to hug me for too long or hold my hand as we walked. I know I scared her after my whole 'can-you-please-sleep-with-me-so-I-can-feel-something' trip that pushed her to the safe distance she was holding me at now. But as I watch her heave heavy chunks of wood into the fire, see her muscles rippling under her sun kissed skin, I feel a hot flash of desire and adoration swell in my chest. I've finally accepted that my husband was gone, and in accepting his nonexistence, I've let myself feel again. I've discovered what I truly felt for the warrior I've been with for nearly five years. And I've discovered I love her. I want her. I need her._

_This went on for a couple weeks. Xena wouldn't bathe with me the way we normally would. She avoided me like I had the plague whenever we had down time, saying she needed to hunt or run or fish. I'd accepted it casually, though it drove me to the brink of insanity. _

_That is, at least, until the night before Xena and I received the message about The Green Dragon._

"_Xena" I whisper softly as she sits across from me with the fire between us. She looks at me with curious blue eyes and pursed lips, she'd been lost in thought for some time now. _

"_huh?" I get up and pace, unable to remain still, wondering where my words had suddenly run off to. How do I tell her I'm ready to move on? How do I tell her I shouldn't have done what I did when Perdicus first died? How do I tell her what I'm feeling right now?_

"_I uh...I wanted to talk to you." I stumble over my words. "About us" she cocked an eyebrow "Not ABOUT us but about us" now she cocked her head. "I mean, I was thinking about that time, after Perdicus..." I swallow hard as a flash of recognition shone in Xena's eyes. I see her toned muscles spasm slightly as she realises where I'm headed. _

"_Gabrielle..." she says, her tone slightly annoyed. I fail to realise she's actually talking._

"_I mean, I know what I did was wrong, that I was acting out of grief, but I can't just sit here and let you ignore me like you've been doing!" I exclaim maybe a little too loud. _

"_Gabrielle" _

"_I mean, I know I pushed you to your lock down point, I know I went way too far but...but I can't handle this."_

"_Gabrielle...!" _

"_I don't care about settling down now Xena" I pace faster and more furiously as my words spill from my mouth like a waterfall. "I don't care about a normal life Xena. I'm going crazy not being with you" _

"_Gabrielle!" I still don't hear her and continue my rant. _

"_I need you Xena, I love you so much and you're—" she startled me as I turn around to pace the opposite way to find she's there waiting for me. She grasps my wrists strongly yet tenderly at the same time and kisses the top of my head and then my lips. I've never experienced a kiss like that before. The kiss of someone who'd wanted me for a long, long time; of someone who'd take a crossbow bolt to the heart for me countless times for all of eternity if it was only to save my life or save me from torture. My eyes are squeezed closed as her hands hold my wrists still, her grip had relax ever so slightly enough for me to break free if I so chose to. But I don't. I knew Xena was giving me the option to run if I didn't want her like this. If I wasn't ready. But I am. I need her like a rose needs water to live. She completes me with her soul's contrast to my own, like the warm, brilliant sun's day is only complete with the cool, soft moon's night. She breaks away from the embrace to rest her forehead against mine. I know without opening my eyes she's nervous, scared she would hurt me. _

"_Gabrielle..." she breathes softly, her warm breath brushing against my skin like the caress of a butterfly's wing. I raise my hands to cup her cheeks gently, her hands slide down my arms to rest in the crook of my elbows. She's afraid of what might happen. That if I care for her, she'll hurt me. I'm ready to live with that pain. _

"_Hush, Xena" I say, my words come out a surprisingly quiet, yet sweet whisper. "I'm not afraid, of you, of this." _

"_but if I..if I hurt you—"_

"_That won't happen." I promise her. "That couldn't happen." And ever so gently I lift her head to mine, and gingerly press my lips to hers. It couldn't happen._

Xena and I opened our eyes at the same time, her eyes had softened, and mine had too. "I love you Gabrielle" she whispered, the lust was practically dripping off her voice. A very familiar feeling swept over me and my skin seemed to heat up.

"Oh, Xena" I whispered like I had a million times before. I reached across the table to take her hand; she met me half way, her fingers weaving with my own.

"Now, the final step of the operation is spending the night apart." Xena's eyes snapped to Bruno, a less than amused look on her face. "Eh, slow down there tiger. I know you're real hot for each other right now" a new blush turned my face a bright shade of red. "And that's good. That's why you need to spend the night apart, so that you know that, if the other was to leave, you'd be lost without her!" He grinned like he'd just won the Noble Peace Prize. "Go on home kiddies." He waved us away. I got up and turned to leave "Eh!" I barked and I turned back startled "Drink your milk" he gestured with his bearded chin to the glass on the table. With an eye roll and a smirk I guzzled it down quickly.

"See you around" I said as Xena pulled me to the door.

The drive home was nearly impossible, getting in the door was far more unlikely. Xena was all over me once we pulled into the driveway. Within seconds her lips were at my neck and buckle was off. I had to push her back to get her off. "Xena..." I breathed "Xena stop. You know the rules"

"Aw come on Gabrielle, we aren't seriously going to follow that now are we?" The look I gave her told her otherwise.

"You're on the couch tonight" and with that I bounded into the house, feeling her longing gaze follow after me.

_**Xena**_

"Move" I said to Joxer, grouchy that I had to be the one to sleep on the couch. Or maybe it was the whole 'I'm all hot and bothered and not allowed to be with my partner' situation. Joxer looked up at me, eyes drowsy and put his head back down. I booted him off with a sharp shove of my foot, sending him to the hard wood floor. He grunted but fell back asleep. By the time I'd settled into my makeshift bed and was nearly asleep, a loud crash jerked me awake. My eyes snapped open. The presence of a stranger had filled my sense of security. The danger waved through the house like a ripples to placid water.

There was someone in my home.

**Hey, me again.**

**I just wanted to ask if you guys would be interested in me making a podcast of my story. I know a lot of you are busy with children, work, house work, what have you and so I was thinking about reading my stories out loud, recording them, and uploading it to iTunes for your convenience so instead of reading the chapters, you could just listen as I read them to you. I got the idea from listening to another person's podcast where she read fanfictions and people would download and listen to them on the go. I liked the idea, actually listened to three of them all day at school (probably shouldn't have done that) and figured that if I liked it, you guys might too. I'm rambling again. Sorry 'bout that. It would be 100% free like most podcasts are and I just wanna make things easier for everyone. So let me know what you think, if enough people like the idea, I'll do a chapter every weekend. **

**Let me know!**


	7. Blood, Rust and a Surprise

**Just so everyone is aware, this may be the last time you hear from me...FOREVER! No, I'm kidding...ish but finals are coming up and I'm not feeling all too great so I'm going to take care of myself for a few days or two weeks. But I will be back, my fine chaps...bards...warriors...Xenites...whatever you'd like to be called...Sooner or later I'll have to return. After all, I have a very hungry ego and nothing feeds it like your reviews. **

**Chapter 7**

_**Xena**_

My heart slammed painfully against my ribs, my breath came in uneven, uncontrolled gasps through my nose. The living drum inside my chest pumped a generous amount of adrenaline through my body. I felt the instinctual, animalistic urge to attack the intruder in my domain, to protect my family from the hostile presence in my home. I took slow, deep breaths. It'd been a long, long time since I'd actually had to fight someone. It'd been a long time since I'd killed and an even longer time that I've had to worry about my children and my partner. I slowly glanced over at Joxer, he still slept soundly on the floor, a dull roar of his snores made it difficult to hear the footsteps. I pressed Joxer's face into the wood, trying to quiet him. "Wha..?" he groggily pushed his head against my hand.

"Hush!" I hissed quietly and heard the footsteps inside the kitchen, close to the stairs. My chakram and sword were both upstairs, on the top shelf in the locked closet, secured in a heavy metal safe. It would take far too long to unlock everything and get my weapons and not risk any harm being done to my family. I'd need to improvise; the kitchen was my best bet. I tensed all of my muscles and waited for the perfect moment, the moment when a strike would be most effective. The shape slowly walked around the corner of the kitchen and towards the stairwell. Wait for it, I chided myself mentally as my mind began to panic, frantic thoughts about my family and best way to attack filled my mind. Now.

I exploded from my location behind the arm of the couch and leapt headlong towards the threat. My arms wrapped around well toned muscles and a thick neck. I didn't make a sound as I swung the man around with the force of my weight. The inky blackness seemed to wrap itself around me as I opened the door inside myself that trapped the darkness I had kept away. It was as if it was welcoming me back home. The man reached over his shoulder and grasped my arm in his large meaty hand, drawing a long, curved dagger from the sheath on his hip. He threw me hard off of him and into the wall of our home. I hit it with a solid thud of my back and sank down to the floor. The air had been purged from my lungs and it seemed that no matter how hard I gasped, the air escaped me. I coughed and heaved my chest as the man twirled the blade, the air whistling around it menacingly. "Joxer" I coughed, half of the word falling away as I used the small amount of air I had. I heaved in a deep breath, keeping my eyes on the man advancing on me "Joxer, get upstairs to Gabrielle and the kids! Keep them there until you hear from me. STAY WITH THEM." The wanna-be warrior stared at me for a brief moment. I didn't have time to wait for him to head for the stairs. My attacker lunged forward, the knife just grazing my side before sticking in the dry wall. I had no time to think about the sting as I spun out of his reach.

He quickly abandoned his weapon and decided with brute force instead, his hand gripped my forearm with bone crushing strength. My legs quivered from underneath me, threatening to give out; that, unfortunately, proved to be no problem as he swept them out from under me and pinned me to the ground, his forearm pressing hard against my throat. "Whose goin' to stop the gods once you're out of the picture, Warrior Princess?" he growled harshly, his foul breath making it almost not worth it to breathe. The gods? I snarled like an animal, no true words leaving my mouth, pure rage engulfing me. Ares. I snapped my foot up hard between his legs, causing him to howl and loosen his grip enough for me to flip him over. I straddled him, grasping the handle of the blade embedded in the wall and yanked it out with a sharp tug of my arm. The assassin looked up at me, wide eyed and terrified. Not only was I Xena the Warrior Princess now, a name that was still feared in various parts of the known world, but I was a mother. Truth be told, a mother is the most dangerous creature in the entire world.

"You come into my home." I hissed, clutching the dagger so tightly my knuckles ached "You threaten, MY family." I raised it quickly above my head "Whose going to kill my family, after I kill you?" I drove the dagger down straight into his heart, feeling his muscles spasm under me as his body started to freak out. His life force oozed over my fingers and soaked into my skin. My darkness rejoiced at the horrible, yet familiar feeling. It liked what I was doing. It relished the bloodlust.

A second and third crash echoed from the kitchen, an arrow whizzing past my face and lodging into the wall where I'd just pulled the knife from. "Xena!" Gabrielle yelped, suddenly at my side, her sais clenched in her hands.

"Gabrielle! Get back upstairs!" I yelled, suddenly getting the uneasy feeling as I stood up that the man I'd just killed wasn't the only one sent after us. Gabrielle snarled at me like I had a few moments before and refused to listen, examining the body I'd been straddling. She didn't move towards the stairs. "Gabrielle, NOW."

"I'm not one of your soldiers Xena!" she barked at me "I'm your partner! I am with you until death and beyond! You can't just—" I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her behind a wall as an arrow whipped past us, crossing through the spot she'd been only moments before. "You can't just expect me to let you taken on a threat to our family alone!" I growled with agitation. She didn't get it, did she?

"Gabrielle, get upstairs now to protect Eli and Alicia!" I ordered, her green eyes turned from jade to an emerald sea.

"Xena…"

"Go turn on the hot water in our bathroom and fill up the foot bath with it. If they start coming up the stairs get Joxer to help you throw it at them." Suddenly, I realised this started to sound a lot like the battle strategy I used against the Persians when Gabrielle was poisoned all those years ago.

"What if you get caught in the splash?" She asked though her tone made it obvious she already knew the answer.

"Gabrielle, if they're going up, they got past me." I didn't need to say more. Simultaneously we both pulled the other close for a brief kiss and an 'I love you' before she fled up the stairs. I ran towards the kitchen and just managed to duck behind the cover of the island before the next onslaught of arrows flew at me. The back door was kicked down; three or four burly men charged forward, each letting out a yell of war with swords held high in the air. I gripped a paring knife from the top of the counter and flung it through the air and into the first man's throat. He fell over with a gurgling gasp, clutching at the open wound and quickly escaping blood. The next man came at me, his sword held in the position needed to lob my head off. I grasped the handle of a larger carving knife and a smaller matching knife. The cool metal handles felt evil and sinister as I clutched them tightly against my palms.

I stood up, using the larger knife to block his sword and the other to slice his arm, forcing him to drop his weapon with a shriek of pain. I used the heaver knife to stab him sharply in the center of his chest. He felt to the ground with a gurgle. With a whistling scream of air, an arrow lodged itself in my thigh, sending quaking pain rocketing through my body. I felt to one knee, ripping the arrow out roughly and unfortunately snapping the arrow head off inside my flesh. I cursed myself mentally, I should have left it as it was. Memories of my death in Japan spun in my head. I'd just snapped off the arrows that hit me and moved on. I couldn't do that now. I was planning to survive this fight, not die. I swallowed hard, trying to choke down the pain before throwing myself to the side weakly, narrowly dodging the sword dropping like a guillotine blade. I rammed the broken shaft of the arrow through his forearm and kicked him angrily in the face. The archers from outside had begun entering the house, Athena's crest and armour decorated the women's bodies. I grasped the smaller knife and launched it into the chest of the first one. She cried out and staggered back, the other two falling under their comrade. I reached for the knife stuck in the body next to me, dragging my lower body that had suddenly gone numb. "Eli!" Joxer yelped and after a few moments Gabrielle's voice echoed his cry as Eli lumbered awkwardly down the stairs.

"Momma!" He called for me, clutching his wooden sword tightly in his tiny hand. My heart swelled with pride despite our situation.

"My little warrior" I whispered, feeling my eyes sting. The rumble haired boy in his Batman PJ's stood at the bottom of the stairs, a glimmer of determination shone in his bright eyes. Then came the shock at seeing his mother lying on the ground, blood covering her hands and her body seemingly incapacitated. Then the familiar look of burning anger and fierce courage I'd felt inside myself countless times before. A large shape walked up behind him, a gleaming blade held in a large hand. The shape raised it high above his head, above my son. "ELI!" I screamed, clawing for the blade just out of reach "ELI RUN!" He stared at me dumbfounded before turning around. The man laughed as Eli fell backwards, trying to drag himself away from the man whose teeth were bared in a cruel grin. He raised the knife to his furthest reach

"Ready to die like your mommy little boy?" I reached for the knife, feeling the growing numbness spreading through my veins slowly, yet frighteningly quick. Gabrielle's footsteps reached the top of the stairs

"Eli!" Eli whimpered at the moment I grasped the knife. I pulled it from the cooling body and whipped it through the air, striking the man in the thigh. He howled and dropped the knife to the side, instead reaching for my son with his meaty hands. Athena's soldiers were still trying to get up from under their sister warrior, pushing her lifeless body off and struggling to coordinate enough to stand.

"ELI!" I yelled for him, trying to pull myself across the floor by digging my nails into the wood. "GET AWAY FROM MY SON!" I barked at the assassin, who paid no attention to me. The man lunged forward, just in time to be met by a heavy boot to his face. Standing in the pale moonlight of the open front door was Bruno, still in his apron and fists clenched by his side. "Bruno...?" I breathed, hearing Gabrielle say the same thing. The beast of a man scooped my son up into his arms, cradling the boy like an infant in the crook of his arm. Eli grasped his shirt tightly in small hands. In the older man's other hand he clutched a sword. A sword that I'd seen a million times before, a weapon that'd been in the hands of Joxer and his son Virgil was in the hands of Bruno. I didn't have time to focus on the sudden discovery as a slender foot kicked me onto my back. One of the archers had abandoned her bow and taken up a dagger instead.

"Immortality won't save you Xena." She crooned, her like brown eyes sparking in the dim light. "Not from weapons forged by the gods themselves." I could only watch in knowing fear as she lunged forward with the blade. I pushed myself as far out of the way as I could, just getting nicked by the knife before a large body was flying over me and colliding with both archers. They all tumbled out the door and into the cold night air. Slowly I pushed myself on my back, suddenly feeling pain setting my nerves on fire. The numbness and ache of the arrow head still lodged within my thigh pained a brilliant picture of both fear and relief; relief that the pain was nowhere near as agonizing as it should be and fear because the reason it didn't hurt was I'd been poisoned. A cold sweat broke out a cross my skin and nausea engulfed my stomach.

Bruno stepped over me and ran after the attackers. "Momma?" Eli whispered, putting his hand on my cheek "momma?" he was getting frantic and no matter how much I wanted to comfort him, no matter how much I wanted to tell him everything would be alright, I couldn't. I'd promised myself a long time ago I'd never lie to my children. "Mommy!" Eli howled for Gabrielle when I didn't respond right away.

"Hey Buddy" I husked, my voice coming out weak and raspy as I forced the words from my mouth. I raise my clammy hand to cup his cheek then realised it was dripping with blood and dropped it again. "I'm so proud of you" I breathed softly, forcing my eyes to focus on his small, roundish face. "I wouldn't have had that much bravery when I was your age." I felt tears sting my eyes. "Listen to me" I said in a voice stronger than I felt "I want you to look after your Mom and Alicia alright? You're the warrior now." And to punctuate my words, I weakly grasped the wooden sword he dropped next to me in his haste to see if I was alright. "From this day on, you are Eli, Warrior Prince." I pushed the hilt into his hand. "And, as a warrior your main duty in life is to protect those who are innocent and the ones you love, understand?" He nodded at me, the tears pouring heavily from his eyes.

"Eli? Eli where are you!" the running steps of my lover echoed on the hardwood flooring. She appeared in the door way and gasped, taking in the sight of me on the floor. "Xena" she gasped and rushed to me, kneeling down and stroking my face. Eli hid his own face in her shoulder, sobbing hard into her shirt and wrapping his arms around her neck. I couldn't stop the small smile that crossed over my face.

"Hey" I whispered, pushing the hair from her face, smearing half dried blood on her forehead.

"Hold still!" Bruno grumbled, inserting the hot pliers into the wound on my leg, trying to dig out the arrow head. I screamed a chorus of curses as Gabrielle clamped my torso against her, cradling my head against her chest. She sang to me in a soft whisper, catching the tears that rolled down my cheeks on tissues.

"Would you cut it out?" I snarled

"Maybe you shouldn't have snapped a poison tipped arrow off inside your leg!" He growled back, just as fierce as I was. "Jesus Xena! What were you thinkin'!"

"It's been a while since I fought thank you very much! And for the record, I didn't see you crawling around on the ground and STILL kicking ass!"

"Too bad there wasn't any style in your fighting; you totally forgot the kicks and flips." Bruno grumbled, obviously disappointed.

"Like I said, it's been a long, long time since I've fought alright?"

"Hush Xena" Gabrielle murmured, silencing my angry yells with words so soft and gentle I barely heard them. "You'll be alri—" I cut her off with a scream of agony as Bruno pulled the defiant arrow head from my flesh. The bar tender looked at the blood drenched impalement and grinned.

"bingo."

**Oooooo, that was mean of me eh? What is Bruno doing with Joxer's sword? How will Xena handle the poisoning? How long until Xena and Gabrielle face the truth of leaving their children? Who will our favourite couple leave their children with? WHEN WILL THE QUESTIONS STOP? **

**Roughly two weeks my dear readers, don't blame me, blame high school...and the common cold.**


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